239.0

i thought i posted something last week.
apparently not.
my "agent" (a.k.a. lauren) yelled at me via text tonight to find out why i hadn't posted.

i typed something up...it was very witty.
full of amazing and inspirational things, i'm sure.
but it's gone.
fallen into the black hole of cyberspace.
don't know where it went...clueless.

i was avoiding weighing myself this week.
i mean, asking a woman who's pms-ing to weigh herself might actually be cause for justifiable homicide.
stepping on a scale when i'm SUPER moody? noooooo beuno.

but i did it.

for lauren.
(this is gonna cost her...she just doesn't know it yet)

i'm still not doing so hot on the "move more" part of things. not sure why.
the weather? the season? exhaustion from work?
dunno.
what i do know is that i'm really good at coming up with excuses NOT to do anything.
i'm a pro at that.

this week, we had a major winter storm...about 3 inches of ice on my driveway, sidewalk, and grass. i've been trapped in the house with my girls since monday night.
you can't even walk from my back door to the mailbox without chicken wire wrapped around your shoes and a walking stick....so not much activity going on here.

i did, however, help push the mailman out of our neighbor's driveway. that's gotta count for something.
(my oldest daughter now thinks i'm like the strongest woman in the world.)
but, in the process, i totally wiped out on the ice.
face first.
instant whiplash.
now i'm sore as can be. (that's my excuse to not do anything right now. see? told you i was good at excuses.)

anyway, i know i need to do something. i just don't know what.
i know that i will NOT follow through with or maintain any kind of activity i don't like. (and there aren't too many that i'm fond of.)

i do like to dance. let me clarify...this does not mean i'm a good dancer. nope. never said that. but i like to boogie.
so i'm thinking about picking up the Zumba video game or dvd. or maybe something like just dance 2.

when we got the wii fit last year, about the only thing i enjoyed was the "dance" portion. unfortunately, their idea of dancing is: step up, clap. step down, clap. step right, kick. step left, kick.
well, that's no damn fun.

but i hear that these new games actually involve whole body movement...real-life dancing.
so, what's your opinion? do you have any of those games or dvd's? is there one you prefer over the other? i'd like some input before i throw away $$.

(and, lauren? you owe me.)

239.8

whaaaaa....???

i broke 240? whoo-hooo!

not sure how i did it. wish i could tell you, but i don't really know.
let's review my resolutions, and you'll understand.

1.move more - FAIL - lol! honestly...i am sooooo bad at this. i think, well, it'll be easy. cleaning house (which i hate), taking walks (duh, it's winter...no fun), and being silly with the girls (i'm so freaking tired). and i know what you're thinking. you're thinking, "aja, if you move more, you won't be so tired". yeah, i know. but how the hell do i get over that obstacle? i think my only hope is for sarah t. to show up at my door and drag my jiggly ass to the gym. (and sarah? i'll let you know where i hide my spare key so you can sneak in and kidnap me)

2.fast food - PASS - so far... my resolution was to limit this to no more than twice a month. well, it's the 20th, and i filled my quota yesterday. but, you know what? it's so funny. when i had to pick something up for dinner last night, i was like "crap, this is my last fast food meal for january." i kept going back and forth. should i really pick something up?? really? but i think the fact that it's such an inner turmoil for me to use my 2 x's means i'm trying to stick to it.

3.leave some food on the plate - PASS & FAIL - i didn't realize until i sat down to type this that i'm failing at lunch. i don't even consider leaving food on the plate because most of what i eat at lunch contains very small portions and barely even fill me up. i'm rockin this out at dinner time, though! well, except the one night my hubby made bbq ribs and mac-n-cheese. i kind of forgot to leave anything after that meal...it was all so good! anyway, i digress. every night, i make a concious effort to leave 3 or 4 bites on my plate. i keep flashing back to that commercial and thinking about how much food that will ultimately add up to over time. how much i will NOT be putting in my body. i also just realized that i have not gone back for seconds. at all. not once. crazy, i tell ya! madness!

4.eat when i'm hungry - FAIL - this is much easier when i'm at home, because food is easily available. at school, i kind of feel like i can't/shouldn't just bust out a snack and eat in front of my 2nd graders. that would be kind of mean. so i don't snack. i made sure i have them available in my room, but i don't pull them out. that, however, leads to one major problem. by the time i leave work at 3:05, i'm STARVING. which means when i get home, i want to binge. and it's kind of hard not to.

5.be inspiring - ??? - no clue on this one.

if you're still reading this long-ass post, thank you!
i'm off to make fun of the american idol auditions.

p.s. if anyone else besides sarah t. feels the urge to drag me somewhere and make me move, i promise to be a very willing abductee.

241.8

lookie here...lookie here!!!
we're gonna try this again.

i kind of fizzled out last year.
slowly slipped back into old habits.
started caving to fast food again.
and ice cream.
had a fight with the scale...we haven't spoken since september.
stopped exercising and started using the wii fit board as a lap desk. (well, not really, but now that I think of it...)

but it's a new year...new start.
i know this is when everyone jumps on the resolution bandwagon (and i must give in to peer pressure so i jumped right on the bandwagon too).

this year, i have some resolutions.
this year, i hope to keep them (but don't we all??)

ready?

here they are:

1. move more - do something every day. clean, dance like a crazy person with the girls, take a walk, wii fit...whatever. just some sort of active movement every day.

2. fast food? - no more than 2x's a month. i have to be realistic. i'm busy and i have 2 kids. fast food IS going to happen. but i can limit it. hopefully that will be just as friendly to my wallet as it will be to my waistline.

3. leave some food on the plate - have you ever seen that commercial? where they show a month's worth of plates with 2 or 3 bites left on them? and when you look at it as whole, it's amazing the amount of food you are NOT eating. so i'm gonna try it. i'm not gonna take 2 bites and be done, but i can certainly afford to leave a couple bites on the plate.

4. eat when i'm hungry - i'm not sure i could do the strict calorie plan that one of my friends is doing. not sure i'm that disciplined. but i can find or buy or make (bah! that last one's funny if you really know me) healthy snacks to keep with me. just a little something so i'm not hungry/starving and don't run home from work and binge.

5. don't just be inspired...be inspiring - i've had a lot of recent inspiration. lots of friends doing amazing things for themselves...(sarah t., tiffany h.) you guys amaze me.
and kind of make me jealous. like the "i'm-not-sure-i-can-be-your-friend-you-skinny-bitch" kind of jealous. now? i need to be one of the ones inspiring others. i need to quit listening to their stories and thinking "damn, if only that were me" and actually MAKE IT HAPPEN!

so folks, there they are.
my fat girl goals for 2011.
wish me luck!

242.2...to be continued

i'm baaaaaaaack.

kind of. sort of.

for a minute.

sorry i've been m.i.a. i really thought summer would be easier. more activities. more outside time. more movement.

and it kind of was. but it was also more "fun foods" (popsicles, ice cream, smores).
and because of all the activities, it was harder to stay on a schedule and have routine meals.

i am, however, rather proud of myself for maintaining my last weight. i haven't lost much more, but i also haven't gained...and that's a plus. i hope i haven't plateaued. we'll see.

i'm back to work...back to school. that means breakfast every morning (which, i must admit, i skipped over the summer. a lot). lunch at the same time every day. and smaller portions...more regulated. and dinner at about the same time every night.

i thought summer would be easier, but honestly, it's not. i hope to slip back into a routine. back into my good habits. and, hopefully, i'll be able to find some time to blog about my progress.

if you're still reading this, thank for sticking with me!

242.8

ooops...

uh-oh....

my bad...

i have no excuses. this was totally my fault. we've been super busy with vacation, a wedding, and lots of running.

i've used that as a reason to live off of party food, drive-thrus, and eating out.

i still have the same goal...just not so sure how realistic it is now that i only have 4 weeks left til school starts. but i'm gonna try.

i made a list of meals to eat at home and stuck to that list when i went to the grocery. so we'll see if that helps.

we have lots more going on the next couple of weeks...the air show, a parade, and camping. i'm just going to try and do better and not use that as an excuse.

241.2

okey-dokey...
so, i suck.

i really really really had the best intentions of getting on here and updating more frequently throughout the summer. but, obviously, i'm not doing so well.

we just got back from our 1st EVER family vacation to myrtle beach. i thought for sure i'd come back weighing more than when i left. lots of meals out and fast food on the run. tons of candy...apparently gummy bears and taffy are a MUST when visiting the beach.

but it seems that the wave-surfing, beach-walking, shell-collecting, squishy-sand-walking all worked in my favor. they helped me work off my "i'm-on-vacation-so-i-can-eat-whatever-the-hell-i-want" indulgences.

and the rest of this month? crazy busy!!!
headed out of town again this coming weekend for a family wedding. then, 2 weeks later, we're headed out of town once more for a camping trip.

i plan to keep myself in check while i'm gone and my goal is to still have a noticeable weight loss when i return to work in august, but i just don't know how often i'll be able to update. (maybe now that i haven't committed myself to updating once a week, i might actually do it!)

242.0

epic fail!!!

man....where the hell did may go?
and what was i doing that i was so busy i didn't post?
ALL month???!?!?

here's what i've decided.

this has been difficult for me. i'm super great at planning and starting things.
i'm just not so great at following them through. (kind of like the scrapbook i started for our wedding in 2000, but have yet to finish)

i think my best option is to use what i've done/learned so far as a tool to guide my next steps.

i think right now, i need to start back at square one.
pretend this is all a brand new thing. get myself hyped up and motivated.
start that food/calorie journal that i talked about last time. (and now that school is officially out, i actually have the time to do it.)
get outside and play with the girls.
do more. be more active. spend my summer in my neighbor's pool.

i no longer have any reason for NOT making my health and my body my priority.
no more "it was a sucky day and i'm too tired."
no more "i was on my feet and watching 26 kids all day...that was my workout."
no more excuses. (well...at least until august 23.) wink wink

i LOVE that i've made it this far. i'm just disappointed it's taken this long.

my new goal is to really make this my focus and walk back into school in the fall and have people say "wow! you've lost weight!!!"

right now, that's what i'm committed to.

that, and getting back to holding myself accountable and updating this blog on a regular basis.

so, here we go. goodbye excuses...hello summer and a newer, better me!!!!!!!!!!!