Tuesday, January 5, 2010

257.8

really?!?!
are you f***ing kidding me???

that's me. right now. as i sit here on my FAT ASS typing this first post.
THAT IS ME! 257.8 pounds.
oh. my. god.

i'd like to ask "how did this happen?" but, i won't because i know the answer. i eat poorly and i'm LAZY. this weight didn't sneak up on me. i've been fat for a long time now. started putting on the weight in college...and never stopped. sadly, i was even a blob on my wedding day. i'm kind of at my plateau now. haven't fluctuated much from this weight for several years now.

i'm just to the point now where i'm DONE!!! i'm soooo OVER BEING FAT!!! i know we ALL resolve at the start of EVERY new year that THIS will be the year. well, this WILL be the year for me, dammit! i know what i need to do. i know what i have to do. i've just never WANTED to do it before.

now, i'm ready.

i figured i needed something "concrete". something that was out there that couldn't disappear. i figures if i put my weight in print (which i plan to do as the heading of each of my posts), i can't deny it. you know, kind of like when you eat something that no one sees you eat, so you think it doesn't count? {and you KNOW you've done that!} i mean, i KNOW i'm fat. my friends and family KNOW i'm fat. but it's like, as long as they don't see the numbers on the scale or know what i actually weigh, they can't "prove it", right?
now, there's no denying it.

i want this blog to be a place where i can openly (and embarrassingly) share my struggles and triumphs. {i'm hoping there are many more of that 2nd one!} i want to be myself.

right now, it's just here for me...and you. i hope you happened across this blog and liked it. i hope you tell your friends about it. for now, it's for me, but i want it to be for "us". i'd like to find people out there who know what i'm going through...who are going through or have gone through the same thing. i hope you come back and post your own stories and comments.

i plan to be open and honest. i promise to post at least once a week {and please yell at me if i don't}. i pledge to not hide things like when i fall off the wagon and sneak a pint of ice cream. and i will try REALLY HARD to not use ALL CAPS when i'm excited about a few dropped pounds...or something smaller like being able to walk around the block without thinking i'm going to die. i just hope you're here to help me through it.

2 comments:

  1. Rock on girl, I am currently struggling with this myself. I will keep on reading! Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You snuck out when you were 16? Surprise!
    Keep on going - your goal is Mrytle Beach.

    ReplyDelete