Sunday, September 5, 2010 be continued

i'm baaaaaaaack.

kind of. sort of.

for a minute.

sorry i've been m.i.a. i really thought summer would be easier. more activities. more outside time. more movement.

and it kind of was. but it was also more "fun foods" (popsicles, ice cream, smores).
and because of all the activities, it was harder to stay on a schedule and have routine meals.

i am, however, rather proud of myself for maintaining my last weight. i haven't lost much more, but i also haven't gained...and that's a plus. i hope i haven't plateaued. we'll see.

i'm back to work...back to school. that means breakfast every morning (which, i must admit, i skipped over the summer. a lot). lunch at the same time every day. and smaller portions...more regulated. and dinner at about the same time every night.

i thought summer would be easier, but honestly, it's not. i hope to slip back into a routine. back into my good habits. and, hopefully, i'll be able to find some time to blog about my progress.

if you're still reading this, thank for sticking with me!

Friday, July 16, 2010




my bad...

i have no excuses. this was totally my fault. we've been super busy with vacation, a wedding, and lots of running.

i've used that as a reason to live off of party food, drive-thrus, and eating out.

i still have the same goal...just not so sure how realistic it is now that i only have 4 weeks left til school starts. but i'm gonna try.

i made a list of meals to eat at home and stuck to that list when i went to the grocery. so we'll see if that helps.

we have lots more going on the next couple of weeks...the air show, a parade, and camping. i'm just going to try and do better and not use that as an excuse.

Sunday, July 4, 2010


so, i suck.

i really really really had the best intentions of getting on here and updating more frequently throughout the summer. but, obviously, i'm not doing so well.

we just got back from our 1st EVER family vacation to myrtle beach. i thought for sure i'd come back weighing more than when i left. lots of meals out and fast food on the run. tons of candy...apparently gummy bears and taffy are a MUST when visiting the beach.

but it seems that the wave-surfing, beach-walking, shell-collecting, squishy-sand-walking all worked in my favor. they helped me work off my "i'm-on-vacation-so-i-can-eat-whatever-the-hell-i-want" indulgences.

and the rest of this month? crazy busy!!!
headed out of town again this coming weekend for a family wedding. then, 2 weeks later, we're headed out of town once more for a camping trip.

i plan to keep myself in check while i'm gone and my goal is to still have a noticeable weight loss when i return to work in august, but i just don't know how often i'll be able to update. (maybe now that i haven't committed myself to updating once a week, i might actually do it!)

Thursday, June 3, 2010


epic fail!!!

man....where the hell did may go?
and what was i doing that i was so busy i didn't post?
ALL month???!?!?

here's what i've decided.

this has been difficult for me. i'm super great at planning and starting things.
i'm just not so great at following them through. (kind of like the scrapbook i started for our wedding in 2000, but have yet to finish)

i think my best option is to use what i've done/learned so far as a tool to guide my next steps.

i think right now, i need to start back at square one.
pretend this is all a brand new thing. get myself hyped up and motivated.
start that food/calorie journal that i talked about last time. (and now that school is officially out, i actually have the time to do it.)
get outside and play with the girls.
do more. be more active. spend my summer in my neighbor's pool.

i no longer have any reason for NOT making my health and my body my priority.
no more "it was a sucky day and i'm too tired."
no more "i was on my feet and watching 26 kids all day...that was my workout."
no more excuses. ( least until august 23.) wink wink

i LOVE that i've made it this far. i'm just disappointed it's taken this long.

my new goal is to really make this my focus and walk back into school in the fall and have people say "wow! you've lost weight!!!"

right now, that's what i'm committed to.

that, and getting back to holding myself accountable and updating this blog on a regular basis.

so, here we go. goodbye excuses...hello summer and a newer, better me!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, May 1, 2010


so, apparently, i forgot this blog existed. lol!

but looky-loo. 242.2!?!?!?


yay, me!

i had a pretty inspiring conversation a couple weeks ago (thanks sarah t.) about calories and recording food intake. and the importance of eating every three hours...never letting your body get overly hungry. while i haven't actually DONE any of those things, they've been in the back of my mind. :0)

i'm seriously considering making a cute little notebook to keep in my purse and to start writing down EVERYTHING i eat. (plus, it would give me an excuse to scrap...bonus)

i'm also trying to be more aware of WHEN i'm eating. my worst time of day is around 3p.m. because i have such an early lunch time. (i eat at 10:55) when i hit my rough time, it's already been over 4 hours since i've eaten and it's still about 3 or 4 hours until dinner. i never know if i should eat something small (a "snack") or if i should have a mini meal. if i do the snack thing, i usually end up munching way too much. if i have a mini meal, i feel guilty when i eat dinner later.

so i think i'm actually going to have to write out a little schedule for myself highlighting the times i HAVE TO EAT...even if it's something small. (and, pretty much, if i don't put it on a to-do list or a schedule, it usually doesn't happen.)

i did try to do a 10-minute Biggest Loser work-out on my exercise-on-demand channel. and i discovered that, if i were ever on that show, i'd be the first contestant in history to drop dead. (yeah...i said it was only a 10-MINUTE workout.) pretty much thought that was doable. apparently not...unless dropping to the floor and panting for a half an hour when you're done is actually part of the routine.

another friend of mine (thanks cierrah) posted a dance dvd on her blog that she loves. i spied a few dance-style workouts on the on-demand channel. i plan to try those out. mainly because i LOVE to dance. i can't ACTUALLY dance...but i think it's a lot of fun. and i figure that, as long as i'm moving and having fun doing it, that's a win-win for me.

Saturday, April 17, 2010


yay! still dropping.
not as much as i'd like, but slow and steady wins the race, right? (i'd much rather be the quick-ass and SKINNY rabbit, but, whatever...)

i'm trying to find activities that i enjoy since i'm kind of already burnt out on the Wii Fit. i don't like to do "structured" workouts, but just being active isn't enough to drop the weight i need/want to drop. i think i need Jillian Michaels.

i would like to state for the record that i played tennis today.

and i liked it.

and i might even like to do it again...maybe even frequently.
(don't tell jackson i said that...i'll deny it.)

don't get me wrong. i'm NO good at tennis. i suck worse than my 4 year old...but it was something different and kind if fun and it really got me moving.

one of my weaknesses lately has been food. (i know...*gasp!*) it's weird...i haven't really been eating a lot of "bad stuff", i just haven't been eating as much good stuff. i'm just kind of somewhere in between. when i first started, i made sure that i was eating fruits and veggies all the time. lately, not so much.

so my plan of attack this week? get active (MAYBE play some more tennis) and get back on the fruits and veggies wagon.

Monday, April 12, 2010


to be honest, i totally forgot to do my post for last week.
been very busy around the house...spring break, spring cleaning, back to school, beautiful weather, yard work...
you name it, it kept me busy enough that my post slipped my mind.

this will be short and sweet. i'm sick (again). but someone (thanks nickie!) reminded me that my post was missing from last week. so here it is.

the only new thing i've discovered this week is that i really don't have much fun with "structured" workouts. someone (thanks megan!) told me i need to find what works for me.

well, i found what works for me...yard work. this is kind of hilarious to my husband...he cracks up whenever i tell him i want to work outside. he also thinks i kill every green thing i touch, but that only really applies to ferns. anyway...working outside, pulling weeds, digging out beds, pruning, trimming, planting new flowers. that's what i'd much rather be doing...and i think it's pretty damn close to (if not better than) Wii Fit.

so, now that the weather is nicer and i can get out and do more , that's my plan. lots of "working out"...just outside.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


{i worked on this last night. thought i posted it, but apparently i just saved it. anyway...}

ok...i'm back. feeling a bit better than i did last week. i got yelled at. A LOT. for telling you all it was your fault. ummm, i was KIDDING! ;0)
but, that's okay. i appreciate you checking on me and keeping me IN check.

and you'll notice, i've almost made up for my very bad week last week. almost...

spring break has flown by. (not surprisingly) i know i said i was going to try and make time to "work out" each day, but, i must confess. i did not.

i DID, however, spend most of my spring break doing spring cleaning. and i'm pretty sure that's equivalent to {or maybe even better than} my 30-minute Wii Fit workouts. oh, and today? jackson drug me and the girls out to clifton gorge for a 2 or 3-mile hike through the woods. {we also almost literally ran into Dave Chappelle in yellow springs, but i digress...} so, even though i didn't formally work out, i DID work my butt off, and that counts for something.

i also stuck to my guns when it comes to food. i'm keeping my portions smaller. i'm sticking to healthier snacks...and still nibbling on my pickles and olives. (those are now a staple in the fridge)

and, i'm eating whenever i'm hungry. this is new to me. normally, i'm a 3-meal-a-day girl. breakfast, lunch, and dinner...and maybe an afternoon snack. i always thought that, if i eat something every time i'm hungry, i'd weigh 300 pounds. well, duh! i DIDN'T eat every time i was hungry, and look where THAT got me! so, why not change it up...try something new? what i've discovered is, when i eat something any time i feel hungry, i don't overeat at meals.

i know this isn't earth-shattering. you hear it all the time from the diet gurus. you also hear not to eat meat...or to eat only meat...or to drink protein shakes...or to rub eggplant all over your body... (okay, i haven't heard the last one, but you never know.) there's SO MUCH "advice" out there, it's hard to figure out what really works and what's b.s.

this is what's working for me, and i'm gonna stick to it. oh, and this AMAZING weather?? 75 and 80 in APRIL?!? that's been HUGE motivation for me to get off of the couch and out of the house. hoping that sticks around for the long haul!

Friday, March 26, 2010



last week was a test.

and you ALL failed.


(well...everyone but Pat)

where'd my friends go???? c'mon now. i started this blog so my family and friends would stay on me. remember...if no one sees me do it, it doesn't count. so, if you're not popping in here to see how i'm doing, i'm probably not doing well.

and did you notice the weight? not good. but i totally blame it on you. my whole support system was MIA. (i know...the weight part is technically my fault, but it feels good to place blame somewhere else.)

so, what have i learned these past two weeks?

1. i'm a lazy slug. i haven't signed into Wii Fit in a loooong time. shame on me. i have not been active at all...unless you count the on-my-feet-all-day-'cus-i'm-a-teacher kind of active, but you know what i mean.

2. i have no follow-through. i make the most well-intentioned plans, but have a really hard time seeing them through to the end. i've noticed a trend in my last few posts. not a good one either. if i don't get myself in check soon, i'm sooo screwed in this endeavor. i mean, it's only march, and i'm already losing my motivation.

3. i need attention. i i HAVE to have someone checking in on me. constantly. making sure i'm not taking the easy way out. giving me feedback and support. if i don't think anyone is "watching", i WILL fall off the wagon. sneaking snacks, skipping activities, whatever.

4. taco bell is my crack! i've honestly kicked nearly all fast food. even in my weak times and bad times, a wendy's cheeseburger or papa john's pizza make me want to chuck. but, taco bell? that is the bane of my existence. i did without it for several weeks, but once i tried it again, i had to have it. over. and over. like 4 times in the past 2 weeks. i may need an intervention.

so, what's my plan now? i'm just starting spring break. i plan to lay out a week of healthy meals and write my grocery list around that, skipping all the snacky stuff. i plan to MAKE time each day to sign into Wii Fit. i plan to start from scratch...pretend it's jan 1st and i've just made my resolution.

that's my plan. we'll see how that goes.

Saturday, March 13, 2010



STILL UNDER 250??!?!??!



super excited that i'm still going in the right direction!

although i must admit i've still been slacking a little on the exercise end of things. i really am a slacker by heart...but i'm trying to get over that. i haven't been doing Wii Fit regularly, but i have been more active. (cleaning the house, doing more when i get home than just making sure the ass-shaped dent in the couch doesn't disappear.)

i think what helped this week was the major grocery trip and eating the foods that we already have in the house. in the past, i would be so picky about what we were going to have for dinner. but now? i look forward to the variety and things i was never really excited about before actually taste good. and, believe it or not, last night i actually opted for sherbet over the double-chocolate-chip ice cream! crazy...i know!

i know they say that you can't just change what you do/eat, but you have to change your mindset and point of view. i think i've made that change when it comes to food, for sure. i snack more often to keep my metabolism up. and i'm snacking on healthier foods. i pretty much HAVE to have some sort of veggie with dinner, and i feel like i'm missing something if i don't get some fresh fruit throughout the day. (before, i'd consider cherry cordial ice cream both my dairy and my fruit...and if i got the frozen yogurt version? well, that was just a bonus!)

so, i need your help and encouragement. yell at me. tell me to get my ass in gear and get moving. let me know how your battle is going. nothing motivates me more than you guys and your comments!

Thursday, March 4, 2010



UNDER 250!??!?!



(remember I told you this post would probably be in ALL CAPS?)

well, i'll give you a break on the caps.
i'm excited. but not as excited as i thought i'd be. probably because i'm in denial. or because my weight bounces around more than my boobs on a hayride. and because i wouldn't be surprised to suck in a deep breath and weigh myself again and see my weight jump up 2 or 3 pounds.

i'm actually shocked to see that's where i'm at right now because i'm pretty sure god is screwing with me. someone is sabotaging me. my last post was not good because i spent the week leading up to it being lazy. (ok...that one was my fault...not god's.) but this week? when i was resolved and determined to do better, exercise more, get back into the good food routine? this week, i've been sick as a dog. puffy-eyed-slits, sore-stuffy nose, head-full-of-water, feeling-like-you've-been-hit-by-a-truck achy. that kind of sick. miserable.

which i guess leads me to my new found weight loss secret.


just get sick and stay sick. i mean, when everything you eat tastes like cardboard, nothing's really that appealing. and hunger isn't an issue. i mean who wants to eat when it hurts just to blink? pair that with a week of adrenaline-rush-inducing events at work and you've got yourself a no hassle formula to shed a few pounds. (although i wouldn't recommend that anyone do either of things by choice.)

so, i'm (desperately) hoping that this coming week will be EVEN BETTER! i'm starting to feel a little better. i'm actually dying to get back on Wii Fit. and i've already started the grocery list for this weekend to get back on the good food kick.

my goal is, this time next week, to be able to post that i'm STILL BELOW 250 because i've worked my ass off!!!

i'm just thinking now i probably shouldn't have volunteered to bring in friday morning donuts tomorrow. perhaps i'll just take mine and stuff it in my bra or tuck it into the waist of my pants. wish me luck!

Thursday, February 25, 2010


i'm sick.

and still fat. {actually, even fatter}

no excuses, explanations, or rationalizations. i've been lazy this week. totally my fault.

that's all.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


umm, okay.
so...this was a baaaaad food week!
we had 3 birthday parties, went out to eat, had Valentine's Day {complete with a chocolate cake...thanks honey, but isn't that sabotage?}, and had 2 fast food nights {one was Subby's, but i'm not rationalizing}.

i learned three things...

1. it's so much easier to eat better when you are poor. before our tax return was deposited, we didn't have much "extra" money. when you don't have money to eat out, you don't eat out. fairly simple and straightforward. you might argue that it's more expensive to buy fresh produce/foods all the time. but when you add those to your grocery list in place of the chips, crackers, ice cream, snacks, it's no more expensive. it may even be cheaper.

2. people need to stop having babies so close to each other. really! three?!? in one weekend?!?!? come on!! those birthday parties are dangerous! {never mind that the three birthday boys & girls were not related, or even friends with each other, but still...}

3. chocolate cake, if left to it's own devices, will whisper "eat me" in your ear while you're sleeping and stare at you with puppy dog eyes every time you walk by. it's best to eat your half-slice at dinner, say "thank you honey", and HURL the rest of the cake out of your house. if you don't, you'll end up eating 2 or 3 bites each day when no one's looking because you think it won't count if they don't see you do it. {or so i've been told...personally, I would NEVER do that}

on the plus side, i'm trying to motivate myself to get moving more often and more consistently. i've had to meet jaden at the bus stop nearly every day this week {normally jackson beats me to it}. so i've been rushing home, parking the car, and walking back up the street. it's not a lot, but it's more than i was doing.

also, i did my Wii Fit last night. i'm proud to say i was just over a pound shy of my lose-10-pounds-in-one-month goal! now, you probably won't see it when you look at me {unless your name is Ingrid and you're a very well-meaning liar...wink, wink}, but it's coming off from somewhere. i haven't really felt any change in the way my clothes fit. but i'm looking forward to that. and prepare yourself, because that post will most likely be IN ALL CAPS!!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010


well, well, well...

not a big change. but it's still something.

i'm embarrassed to say i thought i'd be the red-shirt lady from the Biggest Loser and GAIN a pound. thank god that didn't happen!

we've had lots and lots and lots and lots of snow. and then it snowed some more. i've been housebound several times since friday. got out once sunday for the super bowl and once monday to go to work {would have passed on that one if i had the chance}.

and dude, when i'm home, i have a hard time finding a happy medium. i'm either go, go, go...working around the house, etc. then i get too busy and forget to do my Wii Fit. or i'm a total slug and do my best to merge my ass to the couch. and, well, it's hard to workout when your ass it attached to the couch.

that is my biggest weakness right now...missing my workouts. quite honestly, i'm not intentionally skipping them. i get home, work around the house, talk with the hubby, play with the girls, whatever...and before i know it, it's 9 o'clock. and who wants to to get all sweaty at 9 o'clock? i talked in my last post about how i have to come home and practically do my Wii Fit the INSTANT i walk in the door or it doesn't happen. sadly, that's been the case.

i had a great opportunity today for a fabulous workout, though. too bad i couldn't take advantage of it. on the way home from school, a group of about 6-8 boys PUNK-ASS boys from my neighboring school pelted my car {my NEW CAR} with snow and ice. i was already rushing to meet jaden's school bus, but i whipped the car into reverse and took OFF after them. they scattered, of course. but oh, how i would have loved to have had the time and opportunity to corner them with my car and jump out and beat some ass. THAT would have been a great workout!

on the plus side, i'm still doing fairly well with my food. given the choice, i'd rather have a small snack plate of 2-3 pieces of cheese, some pickles, and some olives over ice cream. {i mean, instead of ice cream...not on top of ice cream.} crazy, i know. but i've also stuck to my guns about allowing myself bits and pieces when i crave them. it's just a matter of...wait for it. what's the word of the day? MODERATION! {i giggle every time i do that because i have flashbacks of peewee's playhouse where everyone yelled when someone said the secret word}

anyway...although i am a bit disappointed in myself, i vow that i'll work on it. i'll get back on track and do better. first thing tomorrow when i get home? workout! saturday? workout! sunday? {...i think you see where i'm going with this}

and finally, i beg of you. TALK to me! leave me some comments...let me know how you're doing or what you think. it really, truly helps motivate me to stay on track.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


i'm getting closer. i mean, i still have about 5,000 pounds to go...but i'm getting there. little by little, i'm getting closer to my first goal...dropping below that 250 mark. i'm so close i can taste it (and it tastes a little like ben&jerry's cherry garcia...) but i digress.

i was actually so excited when i saw that number, i almost (ALMOST) got on and did more wii fit. you know, just so i could trick my body into weighing a little less before i had to post tonight. (and, you'll be happy to know i didn't even strip down for this weigh in!)

i chastised myself for sucking so much the week before last. and i've tried to get myself back on track. i have not doubled my workouts. i have not cut back to lettuce, bread, and water. but i can feel things changing. i'm doing Wii Fit when i can. i'm eating better...and eating less. not only am i starting to physically feel better, but i can feel the change in my mindset.

it's so much easier now to choose my food. i pick things that are yummy, but their main purpose is to fill me up...not to reward me for holding my temper and not chucking a 2nd-grader out a window that day. if i want dessert, i will actually pass up the regular pints of ice cream that are (sadly) still in the freezer and reach for a fruit/yogurt bar. (gotta tell ya, the frozen yogurt bars by weight watchers are YUMMY) i've actually changed my mind about what tastes good.

2 nights ago, i actually found myself craving...yes CRAVING something green with our dinner. it wasn't even an unhealthy dinner...turkey roast, potatoes, and corn. what's funnier? we even had a SALAD with it...but my body still wanted some green beans or asparagus.

and my 2 newest revelations? eat breakfast EVERY morning and snack when i'm hungry. until i made this decision to suck it up and lose the weight, i was NOTORIOUS for not eating breakfast. i would fix the girls something and then sit down and wait til lunch and not even bother fixing anything for myself. not sure why, but i haven't eaten breakfast for as far back as i can remember. i'm not doing anything elaborate...just a bagel, yogurt, or banana. something little, something easy, something i now can't live without. and the snacking??? yeah...when i'm hungry, i eat. i've heard it a million times. you've heard it a million times. if you're! you don't need to fix a huge meal, or even have a full plate of food. my favorite snack (especially in the evenings) is a little plate of pickles and olives. (sorry to offend those of you who don't like pickles and olives) but i had to find something that i LOVE and that wasn't awful for me that i could keep on hand at all times. i'm also totally addicted to i keep a container of cheese in the fridge that's already cut into "snacking slices" and i allow myself 2-3 pieces per day. (if you remember my last post...i WILL cheat if i can get away with it. so, the key is to have it available, but in small portions)

let me tell you something else. i'm sitting here watching Biggest Loser while i type. and i am jealous of their workouts! crazy, huh? the first 2 or 3 times i did Wii Fit, i could feel it. i was tired, sweaty, and sore when i was done. now?? nothing! i'm increasing my time which is successful in raising my heart rate for a more effective workout. but that's about it. i cannot wait until we invest in EASports Active. nor can i wait until the weather changes and i can actually get outside to walk and (maybe) jog a little each day. (yes, i said jog, and if you just fell out of your chair, i'll give you a minute to pick yourself up and compose yourself) i actually want to be a bit out of breath, have a nice sweaty workout, and KNOW i'm busting my ass because i can feel it when i'm done.

i was honestly surprised tonight to step on the scale and see that i'm still consistently going down even though i don't feel it when i'm working out.

but, ummm....hulllloooohhh???
where'd my cheering section go??

i'm staying on track (or at least getting back on track after last week). and i intend to keep it up. but, it sure was nice when you all were here with me!

if i scared you off with threats of pictures of myself or disturbing mental images of weighing myself in the nude, i apologize. i will try not to do that again.


(oh...and to the lady on the red team on biggest loser? i'd like to punch you in the face.)

Thursday, January 28, 2010


well...i'm a bit late in posting this week.

maybe because when tuesday came around, i was stuffing my face with chili cheese fries at my monthly ladies night out.

or because when wednesday came around, i felt like i'd been run over by a semi.

or because i missed my wii fit 5 times this past week.

or because all i could think to post was "no comment" for fear that i wouldn't be able to rationalize how much i suck.

who knows...

my slip off the wagon was a combination of everyone in the family being sick...and tired...and sick and tired of being sick and tired. that, missed workouts, and too many cheats. 2 days of fast food, and a ladies night out make not a jealousy-inducing skinny bitch.

however, do not be alarmed. i absolutely LOATHE myself for slipping out of my routine. i'm not just having a pity's that i actually FEEL what i'm missing. and what's better? i actually WANT to get back on track.

i've realized my shortcomings, and i've learned to accept them.
1. if i don't HAVE TO do something, i probably won't do it.
2. i'm very tempted by absolutely yum-inducing, artery-clogging food. if it's near me, i'll eat it.
3. and i am the QUEEN of procrastination. if i don't do something when i'm thinking of it, it won't
happen until tomorrow {or the next day...}.

here's what i'm doing so they don't overpower me.
1. i am pounding it into my brain that i HAVE TO DO THIS!!! for me, for my husband, for my kids, and for that skinny bitch inside me that's dying to get out. i do not like the way i feel after having a couple fast food tacos {even the ones from the fresco menu, thank you very much taco bell}. i hate the way i feel after missing my workouts. so, i simply HAVE to do this.

2. i can cheat...i'm allowed. i have to be. if not, i'd be the 16 year old daughter who can't go out with her boyfriend and then arranges pillows under her blankets to meet him at 2am. my solution? MODERATION. (that's the word of the day kids) i tell myself i can have it, but only a little bit of it. because really...that's all i want. those first one or two bites are really what we all live for anyway. it's that initial taste...not the whole gut-busting, belly-stretching 5-scoop sundae. you'll be happy to know that, even on my one-night-out-a-month-no-holds-barred-your-allowed-to-cheat tuesday night, i didn't eat all of those chili cheese fries. i'm not even sure i made it through half of them. i knew i had "permission" to eat them all if i wanted...but i didn't WANT to. crazy, i know.

3. no one puts things off like me. i will pick clothes out of the laundry pile until it's down to the t-shirt you never want to be seen in and one sock rather than put it away. i have discovered the latest possible minute i have to climb out of bed in order to make it to work on time, and i hit snooze over and over until that last possible minute. the closer i get to the deadline, the better i perform. so, i have adjusted my schedule. as soon as i get home, i put my things away, change my clothes, and turn on the wii. if i even THINK of sitting down, jackson has to bribe me to do my workout. you don't even want to know what happens when my ass sinks into it's nicely contoured spot on the couch. by then, you can forget it!

the one other thing i've been struggling with is consistency. not in what i'm doing, but in what i'm weighing. i'm trying to weigh in around the same time each day, but there's still too much of a variable. so, i've considered weighing in naked. {i apologize to those of you who now have a picture in their head that will only be removed by months of therapy} but, if you're reading this, and you're a woman who wants to lose weight, has lost weight, or is trying to lose weight, you KNOW that we will take every OUNCE of weight "loss" we get, even if it means stripping everything, including the ponytail and the wedding rings. {bet you're glad now that i stuck to that no-picture thing!}

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


well, it's not much. but at least i'm going in the right direction.

i gotta tell you, though...this past week was R-O-U-G-H! not sure why exactly. it was just plain AWFUL! i was soooo stressed at work (who knew 7 year olds could gang up on you!?!?!?) and i'm trying really hard not to deal with that stress by eating/chilling/vegging/or whatever other "i-deserve-it" i think i've earned.

i've done wii fit plus for 10 days now. yup, you heard me...10 days! i've been increasing the length of my "workout" a little each day. i'm up to about 28-30 minutes. (i know it's not much right now, steps) my two faves are rhythm boxing (especially when i pretend i'm punching certain people) and advanced stepping (which is kind of like the electric slide and enjoyable until i remember i'm actually exercising).

the most frustrating part so far? watching my hubby weigh and and fairly consistently lose weight. me? i'm pretty much a bouncy ball...up, down, all over the place. you know those cartoony commercials where the woman says "this is what happens when HE stops drinking soda" and the guy magically turns into some fabio-esque hunk? and then the woman says "this is what happens when I stop drinking soda" and her boobs shrink or drop to her waist?? yeah...i keep brainstorming new versions of those commercials. although mine generally involve the unsolved murder of my well-meaning husband.

the hardest part so far? KNOWING that i will see results in the future. KNOWING that, if i stick to my guns, maintain my new outlook on food, and continue to be active, i WILL see changes. but, dammit! i'm an instant gratification kind of girl!! at 2 1/2 weeks in, i would like to see more dramatic and noticeable changes...more loss. (i'd also really like to wake up a size 8 tomorrow, but i KNOW that's not going to happen) so, this is where my friends come in. my support group. help a girl out!

it's just soooo hard when you have so many other things weighing on your mind. when you are absolutely, drop dead, mentally and physically exhausted. i mean, who wants to eat rabbit food and sweat their ass off when their world is crashing down around them. (okay, that might be a little over-dramatic...but that's what it felt like this past week.) damn this is hard!!

i's waaaay too early for me to be floundering. trust me...i'm NOT giving up. i haven't thought for a second that i can't do this. this past week was just extreme!

i also think i need to post more often. there were several times this week that i wanted to get on her and vent. rant about everything that sucks and brag that i didn't drown my sorrows in an entire pint of ben & jerry's "phish food". i just thought that it might be too much...too many words and no pictures. (although i'm pretty sure that NO ONE wants to see pictures of me in progress - not that you could pay me to do that anyway.) perhaps i could post pictures of all the food i'm not eating. then we could all look at the screen and drool, eating vicariously through the blog. i didn't want to run you off with wordy, pictureless posts. then i thought "they can suck it...this is for me! i can post as much as i want" (then i thought "OMG! don't post that! everyone will stop reading and then you'll be all alone.")

so, hopefully, you're still following me (with or without pictures) and will continue to support me in this. love you all! thanks for helping me make it this far.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


down almost 2 pounds...

don't get excited. my weight fluctuates like that from minute to minute. if i use the restroom, weigh in at different times of the day, eat more, eat less, fluctuates.

i will not be excited until i see it below 250.

so, what's my plan you might ask?

i've been MUCH more aware lately of what i've been eating. i look at food now and think, "how will i talk about this on my blog?!?" you know, if i want some ice cream, i have to have a reeeeaallly good reason to eat it so i can explain it to you. if not, i don't do it. silly, i know...but it's helping me stay accountable.

i've also tried to start looking at food as just food. it's not a reward, it doesn't make me feel better, i don't deserve it, it won't change my mood. it is simply there to nourish my body. that has helped me tremendously. because i'm considering it nothing more than something that keeps my motor running and here on earth another day with my family, i tend to grab more fruits and veggies. if i want to hang around for a while, i need to be i'm choosing healthier foods.

don't get me wrong...i've already given myself permission/built in some "cheats". one day a week, i don't worry about what i eat. it's not a scheduled day, and i don't eat fast food for every meal, but sometimes when our schedule is crazy/busy/hectic/out of control, it's just easier to not stress about peeling carrots and slicing apples. sometimes, my cheat is just something little...a couple pieces of chocolate or a dessert.

now, i know the healthy eating is only a part of slimming down into the skinny bitch that everyone loves to hate (which, by the way, is my ultimate goal...10 years from now).

i know that i have to be more active. i have to move...stop making sure the couch doesn't float away every single second i'm home. i'm working on that end, too. wanna know what i decided to do?

we bought wii fit plus...the one with the balance board. it has yoga, aerobics, etc. i know you're laughing at me right now...stop it! lol i just knew i had to pick something that STARTED me off on the right foot. don't think this will be my be-all/end-all exercise routine. no way. but for now, spending all my time inside during another lovely ohio winter, i had to do something that seemed a little bit like fun. it's starting small...taking those little steps to start and building up from there. as the weather changes, gets warmer, i will start to spend more time outside. walking. taking the girls to the park. maybe even a little tennis...(probably not).

the best part of this wii fit plus? i can challenge my husband. we set up our programs on the same day. we set the same weight loss goal (10 pounds in one month) and we're competing to see who will reach it first. we're gonna go out to a fancy restaurant and have a 7-course meal, including dessert to celebrate. (just kidding...but wouldn't that be a goal to work towards!!)

one of my biggest problems in the past was i tried to do everything on my own. no one knew that i was trying to work out/diet/lose weight (mainly because i didn't TELL them). and man-oh-man did that make it EASY to cheat!! now, my husband's in it with me.

and, friends and family.

i know this is only my second post, and i don't really know if ANYONE will ever "happen across" it, but i've made a decision. when i did my last post, i had convinced myself that i wasn't going to tell anyone about this blog until i started losing weight. until i could celebrate my successes. i mean, who wants EVERYONE they know to actually know how fat they really are?!?

but, it's not like you can't tell by looking at me. and, i know that i will NEED THE SUPPORT of all of my family and friends to move along in this journey and STICK to it! i also realized that my closest and dearest friends and family (the ones i'm getting ready to tell) love me for me and don't care about that number i type as my blog heading. they only care that i'm working towards making it shrink.

so, once i've let the cat out of the bag, and you hop by to read this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE start leaving me comments. encourage me, help me, share your stories. i'm soooooo gonna need it!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


are you f***ing kidding me???

that's me. right now. as i sit here on my FAT ASS typing this first post.
THAT IS ME! 257.8 pounds.
oh. my. god.

i'd like to ask "how did this happen?" but, i won't because i know the answer. i eat poorly and i'm LAZY. this weight didn't sneak up on me. i've been fat for a long time now. started putting on the weight in college...and never stopped. sadly, i was even a blob on my wedding day. i'm kind of at my plateau now. haven't fluctuated much from this weight for several years now.

i'm just to the point now where i'm DONE!!! i'm soooo OVER BEING FAT!!! i know we ALL resolve at the start of EVERY new year that THIS will be the year. well, this WILL be the year for me, dammit! i know what i need to do. i know what i have to do. i've just never WANTED to do it before.

now, i'm ready.

i figured i needed something "concrete". something that was out there that couldn't disappear. i figures if i put my weight in print (which i plan to do as the heading of each of my posts), i can't deny it. you know, kind of like when you eat something that no one sees you eat, so you think it doesn't count? {and you KNOW you've done that!} i mean, i KNOW i'm fat. my friends and family KNOW i'm fat. but it's like, as long as they don't see the numbers on the scale or know what i actually weigh, they can't "prove it", right?
now, there's no denying it.

i want this blog to be a place where i can openly (and embarrassingly) share my struggles and triumphs. {i'm hoping there are many more of that 2nd one!} i want to be myself.

right now, it's just here for me...and you. i hope you happened across this blog and liked it. i hope you tell your friends about it. for now, it's for me, but i want it to be for "us". i'd like to find people out there who know what i'm going through...who are going through or have gone through the same thing. i hope you come back and post your own stories and comments.

i plan to be open and honest. i promise to post at least once a week {and please yell at me if i don't}. i pledge to not hide things like when i fall off the wagon and sneak a pint of ice cream. and i will try REALLY HARD to not use ALL CAPS when i'm excited about a few dropped pounds...or something smaller like being able to walk around the block without thinking i'm going to die. i just hope you're here to help me through it.