Tuesday, January 19, 2010

254.4

well, it's not much. but at least i'm going in the right direction.

i gotta tell you, though...this past week was R-O-U-G-H! not sure why exactly. it was just plain AWFUL! i was soooo stressed at work (who knew 7 year olds could gang up on you!?!?!?) and i'm trying really hard not to deal with that stress by eating/chilling/vegging/or whatever other "i-deserve-it" i think i've earned.

i've done wii fit plus for 10 days now. yup, you heard me...10 days! i've been increasing the length of my "workout" a little each day. i'm up to about 28-30 minutes. (i know it's not much right now, but...baby steps) my two faves are rhythm boxing (especially when i pretend i'm punching certain people) and advanced stepping (which is kind of like the electric slide and enjoyable until i remember i'm actually exercising).

the most frustrating part so far? watching my hubby weigh and and fairly consistently lose weight. me? i'm pretty much a bouncy ball...up, down, all over the place. you know those cartoony commercials where the woman says "this is what happens when HE stops drinking soda" and the guy magically turns into some fabio-esque hunk? and then the woman says "this is what happens when I stop drinking soda" and her boobs shrink or drop to her waist?? yeah...i keep brainstorming new versions of those commercials. although mine generally involve the unsolved murder of my well-meaning husband.

the hardest part so far? KNOWING that i will see results in the future. KNOWING that, if i stick to my guns, maintain my new outlook on food, and continue to be active, i WILL see changes. but, dammit! i'm an instant gratification kind of girl!! at 2 1/2 weeks in, i would like to see more dramatic and noticeable changes...more loss. (i'd also really like to wake up a size 8 tomorrow, but i KNOW that's not going to happen) so, this is where my friends come in. my support group. help a girl out!

it's just soooo hard when you have so many other things weighing on your mind. when you are absolutely, drop dead, mentally and physically exhausted. i mean, who wants to eat rabbit food and sweat their ass off when their world is crashing down around them. (okay, that might be a little over-dramatic...but that's what it felt like this past week.) damn this is hard!!

i know...it's waaaay too early for me to be floundering. trust me...i'm NOT giving up. i haven't thought for a second that i can't do this. this past week was just extreme!

i also think i need to post more often. there were several times this week that i wanted to get on her and vent. rant about everything that sucks and brag that i didn't drown my sorrows in an entire pint of ben & jerry's "phish food". i just thought that it might be too much...too many words and no pictures. (although i'm pretty sure that NO ONE wants to see pictures of me in progress - not that you could pay me to do that anyway.) perhaps i could post pictures of all the food i'm not eating. then we could all look at the screen and drool, eating vicariously through the blog. i didn't want to run you off with wordy, pictureless posts. then i thought "they can suck it...this is for me! i can post as much as i want" (then i thought "OMG! don't post that! everyone will stop reading and then you'll be all alone.")

so, hopefully, you're still following me (with or without pictures) and will continue to support me in this. love you all! thanks for helping me make it this far.

11 comments:

  1. You post as often as you need!!!!! You have to vent...otherwise it builds up and you end up having an affair with Ben and Jerry. Never a good thing ;-)
    You are moving in the right direction, and that is all that matters. And you can't compare yourself to ANYONE! Your body will loose the weight at the rate it is ready to. Also remember that if you loose it slow it is more likely to stay off in the future.
    Keep up the great work. You are doing much better than me right now...my numbers went the wrong way this week :-(
    Still proud of you!!!

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  2. Aja, you can do it! Just think you need food to LIVE you don't give yourself food to reward yourself. You just need it to not die k? It's been 2 1/2 weeks on WW for me and I am doing much better this week then last. It keeps getting easier and hopfully once you start seeing some results the mommentum will help you through! And keep on posting!!

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  3. you can do it! It does take time though. Do you watch the biggest loser? If not, it might help! Sometimes when I am working out I think of the show and it pushes me.
    Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you, and know how challenging it can be!! Stick with it though, and it will be worth it!!

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  4. The first couple of weeks are the hardest.

    Two tips for rewards and emotional eating. Get small portions of REAL desserts. Not fat free lame excuses for desserts. But a quarter cup of real ice cream. Measure it. It looks like nothing, but eat it really slowly. Or even one heaping spoon. Eat it alone, in a quiet room. By candle light, lol. TASTE your treat. Losing weight can be more about enjoying food than depriving yourself. Ditto one small piece of dark chocolate - the intense taste can be more satisfying than a whole bar of hersheys. Quality not quantity. All that "diet" food can have the opposite of the intended effect.

    On the other hand, mass quantities of low fat microwave popcorn make you feel full and give you that hand to mouth feel. This was my big trick for when I just couldn't resist a binge. Binge on popcorn. No harm done.

    Veggies and salsa or FF black "refried" beans with taco seasoning on it. If you like mexican that can be really good. Slice up cucumbers into slices and eat them like chips. Ditto chip shaped carrot slices. Don't know why but the chip shape makes it better :)

    BTW you're totally making me want a wii fit. :)

    -Shannon

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  5. Hey girl! Kids can be so cruel, huh? If only they really knew when we were having a bad day. Who am I kidding, then they would just give us more crap and try to make us cry. If it makes you feel any better, I have a classroom of 3 year olds....it could be worse....

    Love that you are using the Wii Fit. My husband and I just got gym memberships, blah. I like this accountability thing, so I will keep up on your blog and hopefully keep myself motivated too. The beginning is the toughest, but I know you are one tough cookie---yummmmmm...cookie.....

    Tiff

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  6. thanks so much ladies for all of your support!

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  7. Everyday you make it is a success. it takes 21 days to form a habit according to some study somewhere. so you are almost reaching the point of new habits! I totally am contemplating buyting the wii fit now as somebody else posted. keep up the fight.

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  8. think positive!!!
    also, check out the book clean eating by tosca reno. a fabulous lifestyle change!! xoxo

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  9. Aja, you and Jack can do it. We all have stories of weight loss and I went on Weight Wathers last year and dropped 25 pounds which is close to my ideal weight now. All I did was watch what I ate (not much excercise unless you count ... well you know). No more pop or fast food. Also helping: Switched to Lite Beer and increased sexual activity from once a day to twice a day!!

    Kevin

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  10. Aja,

    I feel ya on the food situation. I would always say that I wanted to eat better, but never could manage. I was one of those "if no one sees me eat it, it doesn't count" type person! Finally, I let someone make a meal plan for me, where I have to eat every 3 hours and I have to eat a set amount of calories each time. I was hesitant to do it, but now it's really easy. I always feel full, and I get to eat what I want as long as it fits into the calories.
    I think it's working so well because someone else is helping me get it right. I'm not just doing it myself. Someone else is helping me become accountable for what I'm eating. Also, I know before I go to bed everything I'm going to eat the next day. I plan all my meals before bed and it's seriously a huge stress reliever!

    I think you're amazing for putting yourself out there like this! Keep it up girl! Let me know if you want more info about the meal plan business.....it's really worth it!

    Sarah

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  11. Just letting u know I am here and am so on this roller coaster called dieting with ya. Its hard to lose weight and eat right. I am so proud of you my friend! :)

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